Brilliant Moments

So since I'm not just at home sitting around, I often have my camera with me and places that I go. That has been particularly timely and wonderful in certain moments that I've been here. I'll see something that needs to be captured, I'll grab my camera, and run to wherever to get the shot snapped.
Other times haven't been visual but maybe a bit more cerebral. But whereas I do have some sudden epiphanies, mostly I have issues or ideas that I wrestle with in my mind over a period of time. So there are less singular cerebral moments that stick out, unless you count times when I suddenly realize what might be bothering me or something I've discovered about myself.

So, cerebrally, I realize that I must feel like I'm competent about what I'm doing. You might have just misread that as confident, and that is part of feeling competent, but first I have to feel capable of accomplishing some task, and then I'll worry being able to do it efficiently and well. I have a distinct ability to put myself into situations where I'll likely succeed. It means that I'm having experiences that are purposely trying to build on each other to develop distinct traits and skills. these are generally nice, rewarding experiences because I'm already on the path to success the moment I start.
Part of what I'm trying to work with on the farm is taking on tasks and responsibilities that are foreign and outside my experience spectrum. It sorta is just a chance to keep me honest/help me appreciate responsibilities that I am good at. I've probably mentioned this in previous points, but that's because the challenge has been continual, and just the other day I was realizing that my frustration for that day stemmed from wanting and needing, but not being, competent and effective at whatever that day's responsibilities. So it sure doesn't make this summer just pure vacation because A) I don't work like that and B) I always have something that I want to be improving on or developing. It's sorta in my genes.

But there have been other spectacular visual moments that are almost completely and utterly wonderful. I guess the only bad part is that they have to end. but here they are.
At any time from 8:45 to 9:30, you can walk outside in the fields under an impressive sky. I love the dark blue, and it's just comforting and quietly intense.

The first brilliant moment was a great combo of people and place. On the trail up Kineo, you have the Rafuse-Mitchell clan staring off the bluff with a storm brewing in the distance.

So I captured this with our younger camper Siara (Sierra). Shows you can have horses and dogs to play with at the same time. We might not have tv at our camp but we keep the stimulation high.

This is Elles and I playing during one of my jaunts down to Portland. We will spend hours a day playing and laughing. We get along, though I made him mad later when I told him to clean up his spill or sit down.

Not all moments are about color and texture. This is about people and a moment. Gabe and Hannah flirt all the time and she is constantly in his lap. So Hannah and I had been taking cousin pictures and so I was in the mood to just hop on in and bust up the party. This was at the horse show when there are about 5 hours to kill during the middle of the show day.

At Kineo, the wind was wipping up the waves, and we actually had to drive some people across the lake through relatively dangerous swells. It was pretty exciting. But the wind just howled over the water and set up white caps all around. So what looks like soft frosting from far away are actually pretty hefty waves that'll toss a boat a bit.




this is the most recent moment. It had been a cold morning, then a beautiful day, then a stormy afternoon, then a sunny early evening, then a rainy mid evening with the sunset beaming through as the storm clouds passed through. It was the epitome of a spectacular moment. **You must click on this to enlarge it for better effect.

Is it slower or does it just take longer?

So usually you might hear the humorous aspects of life here. Well, I guess not so much humorous as I give them a funny spin. Here's the deal. I enjoy making life a little more bearable. That's why I've never had a real 9-5 job, and I take a break every few years to go live in a foreign country (and, yes, Maine counts). But, honestly, what that humor is doing his helping me cope with the fact that my brain works too hard with too much seriousness. It's going all the time, like those of many people, and it often to keeps me constantly on edge thinking about whatever I'm not doing that I should be doing. Sounds familiar, right? Well what also sounds familiar, probably, is that my brain sometimes just takes a chill pill and decides to thoughtfully reflect on things.
So here is my reflection on time. the post won't start with "time," but it should end up there.


In the consciousness of our society, thanks in large part to the massive expanse of the United States (Think 3rd largest country in the world) and our collective memory of going West into the unknown, there is a strong idealization towards the rural life. It is simple, local, familial, old. Hell, hanging out in the woods is so "cool" these days that old might as well mean "retro 19th century social patterns have re-emerged in our quickly modernizing society." Return to the land, the Romantics told us, and now we want to do it. There is a need to go live in a simple cabin, to escape the hustle and bustle. Enjoy the outdoors, go visit a National Park.
To these idealized motifs, I say, hell yeah. Do you want to know why? Because, whether true or not, there are values in these memories. Values like self-sufficiency, family, small communities, living off the land, enjoying the world around you, getting back to the basics. And I have no qualms with these things. Do I think we should all go live on communes and cabins in the valley? No, we are much too big, we've seen too much, Adam ate the damn apple, and life in one of these settings is hell-a tough. But there are values here that are held in the keepsake drawer.
It was a search for these values that made me want to come to Maine, work with my hands, and understand what it means to live on a farm. But I did not find all that I came here with a mindset of looking for. What do I mean? "The simple life." It must be redefined.
We have a notion that things slow down, that tasks are simpler, and that life is easier, less-busy and less-cluttered. I might conditionally agree on a few counts. Life is less-cluttered in that you can focus on just farm-related things (unless you're like Emily and are running for office, practicing law, and planning a wedding in addition to running a farm), and each task is done and then you move onto the next thing. The chores are straightforward. They are what they are and you do them on a daily basis. And so by that token it could be simpler. But here is the truth. It ain't.
The difference between the life I have here and life I have at home is that here I can't cheat and have one task going while I'm doing something else. There is no multi-tasking. You can't take a horse down to pasture while driving your tractor, or clean stalls while yelling out instructions to the student rider. Each task has to be done and you have to be the one to do it. There is no program that does stuff for you. So it's not like time slows down and you sorta walk slowly from one thing to the next and then the day is done. Rather, it's like you have several hours of work to do each day because everything on the list takes the time it takes to get done. So you might not be doing 20 things an hour all at the same time. But you will shovel poop, feed the horses, take horses to pasture and smooth out the riding ring. It'll take the time it takes and eventually you'll be done. And you'll have been completely aware of each part of the process because you can't be loading one page and then bring up the other 19 tabs distracting your attention.
So we might idealize this life, but it's not fully understood. It is just as busy and complicated as anything else. But here each step in the process has to be completed before moving on and there is no way to speed up the process unless you walk faster or move your arms quicker.

Top Ten: What separates Arkansas from Maine

*Note: There are no pictures in this post.

So there are plenty of stories I can tell and tangible items I can discuss. I mean, like the fact that I had three servings of beef pasta salad and veggie burgers, approx 3 pounds of food total, followed by two servings of ice cream and s'mores. (thank you, awesome metabolism). Or I could tell you about the windex, pine-sol and flea bombs that have dominated my life the last few days as I've been cleaning up an apartment. But I won't tell you any of that stuff.

No. Sadly, you'll have to endure the genius of my observations of time here. Speaking of time, that'll be topic of today's entry.
Oh quick note on things I notice in Maine.
10. The moment I say "y'all" I have to prove my sanity before allowed to continue speaking.
9. They have turnpikes where you have to pay to drive on a road. WHAT?!
8. You have to pay to drive on a road!
7. My family's schedule gives me an excuse to visit lots of cool parts of Maine.
6. They have pretty rivers, but they are so shallow that the major ones have rapids. It's low enough for rocks to show.
5. Old in Arkansas is 1850s. Old in Maine is 1750s.
4. Many people in Maine know little about Arkansas. I've been asked (twice) about alligators. Of course we do have them but I've never seen them nor do I associate them with Arkansas.
3. EVERYTHING is frickin' organic. grocery food, crops, I bet even sofas and matresses
2. There are more country rednecks in Maine than in Arkansas, but it's probably because more people live in the country here.
1. When they say "oh it's gonna be hot today." What they mean is that it'll be sunny, slightly breezy, and 85 degrees.

Kicks for Kane

I came to Maine with a good variety of footwear. I got sandals, I got dress shoes, I got tennis shoes, and, perhaps, most importantly, I have boots. I have actually had the occasion to wear each pair of these so far, but boots have undoubtedly been the most important Boots not only give me a passport into the working world, but I wear them everyday. When we do horses in the morning, I'm walking through mud and manure, and I need my footwear to be sturdy, and I need to be able to get it dirty.
But guess what I noticed. First of all, Bill told me that whatever shoes I wore outside would probably be destroyed by the end of the summer. Second of all, I didn't want to destroy the boots that I brought. And third of all, I am getting stepped on by horses at least once a week and I am walking through wet mud.

So my boots might be able to take me on a hike, but they aren't gonna work perfect on the farm. Now, it is true that I could just deal with it, but if you see any of the farm boys who come by the barn and look at their shoes, they all have heavy duty stuff. So I decided to make my first big purchase. Some cheap boots. And I had three qualifications. Price, water resistant, and steel-toed. Oh, and I need something with a heel so that I could ride in them.

So if you know me, the first part (price) is a "duh." The second part is so that I don't have to ask myself what that brown stuff on my sock is, and the third part is just fascinating. Did you know that they have a steel-toe shoe industry? New balance has steal toed shoes. And literally, they are tennis shoes with steel toes that just make the end of your foot impenetrable.

So I went on a search for this shoe. I stopped first at Marden's, which is a low, low, low, price overstock store that puts walmart prices to shame. But they only had army boots. So then I went across the street, which is where I learned about the steel-toed shoe market. I was just gonna get some rain boots but decided to keep looking.

So my search ended up probably where it should have begun...Walmart. I walked into the show aisle and there they were. my boots. Ozark Trail boots for $30. They didn't have a steel toe but they were waterproof and I just thought it was meant to be that they were Ozark Trail because everyone knows that the Ozark Trail might as well have meant "All Arkansans buy these!" So I grabbed them and headed towards the bathroom.

But wait, that wasn't all. There were some shoes on the back wall, and so I just decided to put my slow-paced shopping skills further to the test. So I grabbed 3 different pairs off the back shelf and repeatedly took them on and off until I narrowed four pairs down to two. I still had the Ozark Trail, but I also had these slightly cheaper, though less handsome, waterproof, and steel-toed boots made by Brahma.
And then I saw it. I was looking at the size when a magic word struck my sight.

I allowed a knowing chuckle to emanate from my lips. haha. and I smiled softly as I went to put back my OT boots. I looked at the box just to make sure I hadn't deceived myself.
Hell, after I bought my boots, I kept the tag on them another 3 days just because it was an awesome story.

It was meant to be, they were mine. They are the Brahma Kane all-purpose work boot.

I've had at least 3 horses step on me since I got them, and every time I say to them "step harder. I can't even feel that weak sauce through my steel-toed boot."

I've sloshed through wet mud and thought, "oh, that brown is nice." and I've walked into stores and said "yeah, that's right. these are my Brahma boots.


These are my kicks for kane."

My list of firsts (thru part 1)

I have now reached the half-way point of my time here. I don't want to impress people with all the things I've done, but the following is the daily updated list of all the things that have highlighted my time here so far.
So I had this list in my profile section, but that got too long so I'll try to keep this list updated throughout the summer.

drive Cadillac, -My uncle has a blue, green, purple Escalade and I got to drive
drive truck, - driving a truck is an extremely empowering experience
drive bushhog/tractor, - the most persuasive evidence that I'm slowly becoming a farm boy.
made phone calls for a campaign, - i hated it. I didn't know how to talk to people
seeing an eagle, - that was pretty sweet. Bill and I didn't know what it was until it flew by
tacking up a horse, - now this seems like old news
walking/cleaning a donkey, - won't try this again, the most obstinate beasts ever
held a rabbit, - there are two on the farm. I did it just so I could say I did.
went to a horse show, - that was an experience. horseriding as being call the most elitest word in the english language
successfully navigated a round-about, - did you know there are rules on a roundabout?
held political signs on election day, -I was hoping I wouldn't get hit by an angry voter
went to a town hall meeting, - that was fascinating. Direct democracy at its finest
bought a John Deere hat, - It's my working hat and I wear it to fit in with local worker guys
went to a municipal trash dump, - in the south we are so behind
saw a wild turkey, - i definitely didn't look like the pictures from thanksgiving cartoons
coaching a girls soccer practice, - I succeeded in keeping their attention for 1 1/2 hours!
posting on a horse, - you gotta get the rhythm of the horse
put together a horse jumping ring, - tedious but slightly creative
ran a drag harrow over a horse ring, - I was glad to help out with the actual jumping of horses
saw a horse have teeth cleaned, - she put her arm halfway into the horses mouth!! EWW
saw horse have it's shoes put on, - It smells really bed
had my gas pumped by a station attendant, - so awkward. Can I not pump my own gas?
ordered "fish and chips"- it was good while it was a generic taste but then it started to taste a lot like fish.
when to a moose hunting license lottery.- seeing about 500 men nervously waiting for their name to be called was quite an experience.
Went to a drive-in movie.- Bounty Hunter was an awful movie.
Went to both the New Balance AND L.L. Bean stores.- I love low prices
walked a dog and a horse at the same time- it was a veritable Dog and Pony show.
Got stepped on by a clydesdale. I am so glad that I have steel toed boots.
went on a trail ride with bill and emily- it took us a month, but we've finally done it.
had a bird poop on me- no worries, it was only my arm.
painted barn doors- the scraping is tedious, slow, and annoying, but the painting is extremely satisfying.
acted as a super- I've done all the clean up I've never done before: weeds, bathrooms, spackling, wiping, and, oh yeah, flea bombs.
drive a VW Bug- yeah, I know it's a mom car. Even worse for me, it has flowers next to the dash.
Drove a (bug) convertible. If a truck is like power and dominance, the convertible is pure fun and freedom.
posted on a horse-so now I can have personal experience with some of the stuff I see riders do.
picked up a yawn from a horse-and the same day (also a first) I rode on a horse with a spoon in a mouth, carrying a marshmallow in my mouth)
Being a counselor for a horse camp-the most important focus has changed from jesus communities to equine care and riding.
I've ridden Bugsy, Ivy, Jeeves, and Daisy- 4 down 8 to go.

A Time (Schedule) to every [place] under heaven (at least that I've visited)

Time. what a strange looking word. Anyway, I digress. So in Buddhist thought, the time is always now. It is the present eternity. Well, let me tell you that that is a load of balogni because when I look at my watch in each place I've been to, the time is always a little different.

At home in high school I was asleep by midnight every night, and I would wake up at 7:45 for school. My afternoons consisted of soccer, studying, and food consumption. I'd go to bed at 1 on the weekends because my friends mostly had curfews.

In Italy, I was asleep by 11 pm, woke up at 7 am, had lunch at 3 and dinner at 10. On the weekends, which consisted of one day, I'd stay out til 2 and wake up at 10.

In college, both at Davidson and Sewanee, I'd go to sleep between 12:30 and 2 am (and never before midnight), wake up between 7:30 and 9, and do a whole variety of things in my day while eating around 12:30 and 6:30. I had the same sleeping patterns on the weekend.

In Argentina, I went to bed around midnight, woke up at 8 and walked around Bs As all day, but on the weekends things got really wacky. I'd stay out til 4 am on nights where there wasn't much to do, and I'd be home by 7:30 am on the nights where I was at a club or something, which meant that I'd wake up on the weekends anywhere from noon to 3 pm.

Now, in Maine, I go to sleep between 10 and 10:30 pm, wake up at 6, done with chores around 7:15, start other work around 8:30, lunch at noon, afternoon chores at 5, dinner at 7.

That's a lot of different schedules

So what's been really crazy about all this is that there are certain times that have now become ingrained in my mind as to how a schedule should go.
So here it goes. Because of Italy, I now think it's proper to eat lunch at 3 and dinner at 10. Because of college, you should never go to bed before midnight. Because of Argentina, you should never wake up before noon on the weekends and should stay out til at least 4. Because of highschool, you shouldn't socialize after school on weekdays. Because of Maine you should always wake up by 6 (or 6:30/7 if you want to sleep in)

So what does that look like?
M-F Wake up 6am, lunch at 3, dinner at 10, bed at 1 am: No socializing between 4 pm and 1 am.
S-S Wake up 1pm, lunch at 3, dinner at 10, bed at 5 am: Call parents when I get home (hah, joke!)

So there is my schedule combined from all the places I've lived in under heaven.

STRIKE for Betty Lou!

I will admit something right now before my stories go any further... I am not a bowler and I probably bowl once a year...if that. I know. I know. The bowling alley for many young teens is like the mall. You go there to show your agility at arcade games, to wear hip clothing combinations, and to pick up chicks when they are not yet biker babes but a little bit past Tomboys. Well, I was not a normal kid. I did not bowl.
But I do now.

You see, the Bayside Bowl is a little establishment recently opened by my cousin Charlie. It used to be an arcade manufacturing warehouse...or something like that, and now he has turned it into part bowling alley, part bar and and night club. And it has figured prominently in my time in Maine.
In fact, it was the first place I came to upon my arrival. I was dropped off by a taxi on a nearby street and carried my 70 lbs of luggage around until I came upon the place.
A week and a half later it had its soft opening, which I attended, the last two days I went there to enjoy an afternoon with cousins young and old (BTW, do not take 2 year olds to a bowling alley. Any relaxation that might after been enjoyed otherwise is automatically compromised.)
And best of all, Bayside Bowl was the location of my Aunt Libby's election night celebration. Drinks and bowling and good old american democracy. Not a bad combo.

Now for the good part. The most important part of this place in my Maine experience beyond spending time with family and friends and celebrating political victories: how I've bowled.
Well, let me tell you what...It's been good. So I actually bowled two gutter balls on my first two bowls ever and had another gutter on the subsequent frame. Not an auspicious beginning. However, I quickly picked up the groove, analyzed the styles of more successful bowlers, and I have bowled at least 150 during every outing there.
This here is Emily and Lew-Dog. Lew was actually the second person I saw in Maine after my brief "hello" to my cousin Charlie. Lew is like Aragorn to Charlie's Gandolf. They have been putting in 15 hour days after these first 10 days, and I think that it's Lewis' Southern heritage (he's from Kentucky) that gives the place the charm it needs to thrive.







Emily is seen here posing (she seems to be an unpaid model in my blog. Maybe once I get some advertising then she'll be recompensed.) in her unique squat routine which precedes her bowls. [side note: she did successfully pick up the spare in this frame] "Bubbles," which is her bowling name, bowls a consistent 120-130.







So here it is. My most recent game. You don't see any "C" up there because most people have their own bowling names. For instance, I played with "filthy McNasty" the other day. I don't know his real name so I refer to him by his bowling name, though I call him "filthy" for short. Bill is "Barry"; Emily is "Bubbles" the little cousins are "Fashion Diva" and "Moe" and my cousin Will is "The Dude."
You'll find my score, the winning tally, under the name B.L. I rolled strikes or spares in every frame but one and barely eked out a victory against talented Barry. My name was actually given to me by the person at the shoe counter. I said to be original and so she thought Southern and quirky...Please feel free to refer to me by my bowling moniker Betty Lou.